For The Love of Fugaku Crazed Style
by The Kunai Monster
Summary: For the Love of Fugaku! Goodness, Fugaku is up to strange things and the whole family is coming over for dinner. Itachi's got a wife, so you know things are gonna end up weird. Read this great story!
1. Dinner

**Dearest Reviewers, we are now counting on you as our judges. Hammy Uchiha, Uchiha of the Desert, and I are participating in a self created story writing contest. Each of us have pieced together and written (well typed i guess) a story with the theme of Fugaku calling his grandchildren "whippersnappers". I'm sure you will all be intrigued by each of the different styles of writing and stories. The stories as i said need to involve Fugaku calling his grandchildren "whippersnappers", so there may be amounts of humorous intent/dialogue. Dearest Readers, go now and embark on your trek to read them!**

**Please R&R, we would like it if you rate on a scale of 1-10.**

**Thanks!  
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**For the Love of Fugaku (Crazed Style)**

**By: Crazed**

Fugaku sat down to read the morning newspaper. As he scanned the newspaper a certain article caught his eye, he raised one eyebrow then put on his reading glasses. Mikoto walked in to the kitchen later that night and found her husband still reading the daily morning newspaper he had been reading early that morning. She felt a sudden rupture of inner sadness; he was supposed to making dinner for tonight. The boys were coming home for dinner and Itachi was bringing is two young children who were particularly known for causing trouble. Sasuke on the other hand, was still single and she had been nagging him lately to go and get a wife. Mikoto sighed. She was going to have to make dinner tonight, again. Once Fugaku started reading something, it was getting increasingly hard to get him to stop, she'd be lucky if he'd put down that paper for dinner.

She heard a click, and some screams. Itachi was here. She decided to go get the mop and broom, and the broth for the stew she was going to cook. For the love of Fugaku! Would that man ever stop reading? Itachi came in moments later, not saying a word of anything or even greeting his own parents, he kept walking straight into the linen closet, and there was a click as the doors were shut. Okay… then I'll have to deal with those kids! That wife of his is so freaking lazy! She's probably on the couch right now eating Advil or something. Frustration set in. Sasuke better hurry up and show. Maybe he can deal with those children while I get this broth going. Suddenly Fugaku got up. She almost gasped. Spinning around with her large wooden spoon and almost knocking over the vase of flowers.

"Fugaku-kun!" she cried. Silence greeted her, maybe…Fugaku was not really conscience maybe he had been sleeping instead of reading and was now sleep walking. The boys had sleep walked a few times; maybe they had gotten the trait from Fugaku. But now that idea seemed pretty far-fetched he was going through the cabinets looking for something. After some time it seemed he had found what he was looking for. He pulled out a medium-sized bowl and then grabbed some powdered sugar. He was still holding that newspaper in his left hand but it seemed as though it was natural to only be using his right hand for all tasks. He grabbed a wooden spoon and poured some cocoa powder in to the bowl with the sugar. He stirred it a bit, and then grabbed the last carton of milk from the refrigerator; he of course just had to pour it all into the bowl, and then stirred it again. Mikoto was positively afraid to ask what he was doing but decided she would find out in do time.

There was a slam of the door, as she turned to continue to stir the broth.

"I'm home!" called the clearly agitated Sasuke. The screaming from the living room had now ceased entirely and she felt just slightly worried. Sasuke came into the kitchen shortly later. He looked sore.

"Where's Nii-san?" he asked his eyes scanning the room. His mother's eyes led him to the linen closet. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, what had his brother done now? He had noticed Itachi-san's personality had greatly changed ever since those two children had started going nutty. Sasuke went and unlocked the closet. Those children of his were seriously destroying Itachi's hard core attitude. He finally managed to get Itachi through the door and into the living room; the two were tied up with rope.

"What have you done to my children?!" Itachi cried.

"I've helped you regain control," Sasuke smiled, but to Itachi it seemed full of malice and dark intent.

"Little brother, why have you betrayed me?!" he cried. Itachi ran and cut the ropes that bound his two little monsters together. Sasuke seemed to vanish into the darkness.

It utterly disturbed Itachi.

The two little children grabbed on to Itachi's arms and he lifted the two up into the air and carried them over to the couch. Itachi then promptly sat down on his wife's feet while the two plopped down on both sides of him. His wife gave a groan in all the weight from the 3 now sitting on her feet. He reached into the bag his wife had brought for the kids, and pulled out their favorite story. It was called, "Dancing Flowers" and it was a best-selling picture book in Konoha. He read them the book. Then read it again, and it just so happened they wanted an encore. So he read it again, and eventually it came right back to reading it again, and again.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Fugaku was still stirring that bowl of "stuff". He hummed pleasantly as he stirred it. Sasuke had thus melted through the wall into the kitchen and walked over to Fugaku.

"Father, if it smells good it's probably illegal," he looked at the bowl. "As a police chief you of all should be careful, you might get the family into trouble,"

He gazed into the bowl and nonchalantly reached into the bowl and snagged a taste of it. Fugaku growled, and Sasuke backed away. Fugaku continued to stir the bowl of pudding, as Mikoto called the family to dinner. He picked up the bowl and pushed it into the oven.

Sasuke sat down the farthest away from Fugaku as possible for fear of Fugaku still holding a grudge against him for his taking a taste of whatever he was making, Sasuke couldn't quite tell what it was. But as it was it didn't really matter.

Itachi was the next to come in followed by his two children, and then finally his wife. They said their thanks for the food and began to eat the soup.

"Sasuke-kun," Mikoto began, "You really do need to start looking for a wife," Sasuke coughed and then hammed up his act he went into a display of different tones of hacks and then eventually took his leave from the table. Itachi was a bit concerned by the display and was about to act, (the fatherly attitude was definitely affecting him) but his lazy wife stepped on his foot. Fugaku however, was watching Itachi's children. He came to the conclusion that he was disgusted by how they ate their soup. They took their chopsticks, dropped them in the soup, and then lifted up the bowl and slurped the soup. He sneered at their disturbing behavior, scolded Itachi for not teaching them better, and then he said the un-thinkable.

"You young whippersnappers! No pudding for you!!" he slapped his hand again and again against the table and coughed. Mikoto was astounded, Itachi was angry of the sentencing, his wife didn't really care, and Sasuke peering around the corner and into the kitchen looked somewhat happy, for now that he realized that it was pudding his father had been making he was quite eager to have all the more for himself, for you see there is great interest in pudding in the Uchiha family. After the strange display and everyone else had finished eating their dinner (Sasuke was saving room for pudding), Fugaku stood up and opened the oven and pulled out the bowl of pudding. Sasuke immediately re-entered into the kitchen and sat down and cleared his throat. It was quite strange that Fugaku had put the pudding in the oven, for he had never turned it on, and seemed as though he never had intended to. He put a spoon into the bowl of pudding, and everyone dug in. However, Fugaku though he took great pride in the pudding made sure that the little monsters never got any.

"You whippersnappers, now a days there's no discipline, you gotta learn from yer mistakes, and then take 'em to heart!" he then gave them is whole spiel about how pudding was very important to him, and that they should never disgrace him again by earning the dishonor of not being able to eat his pudding, because of their lack of courtesy.

"Nonsense," Fugaku murmured. "is followed by insanity." The children's eyes were now wide open. "I don't want you turning into Itachi," Itachi scowled, and kicked Fugaku under the table. Fugaku hissed in pain, and the little children laughed, almost scornfully it seemed to Fugaku. He gave them the eye, and threatened to take away all pudding eating privileges under his roof. Fugaku sighed.

"I want some more pudding," Sasuke said, raising his bowl. The bowl of pudding was empty, and Itachi's lazy wife claimed Sasuke and eaten the most. Sasuke blamed the children, and that didn't go to well for Sasuke because like most of the sane people at the table, they knew that the children had been banned of eating the pudding. Sasuke was therefore punished, by Fugaku, and made Sasuke eat several raw eggs. Sasuke left the house that night with the distinct taste of eggs in his mouth that no matter how many times he washed his mouth out the taste would not go away. Itachi and his wife left feeling slightly disappointed that their children hadn't gotten any of the delicious pudding. And the children left without any pudding, much to their displeasing. Fugaku went to sleep that night with the pudding bowl still in his arms. And Mikoto, she went to sleep that night with the thought that maybe she could have Fugaku make some more of that pudding for breakfast.

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	2. Cooking?

**Yes I know, I wrote another chapter in the Love of Fugaku story. I guess it can still be part of the contest that the three of us are having but don't feel you have to rate it 1-10. That only applies to the first chapter. Okay well please R&R or i'll be really sad and i won't type up a 3rd chapter.**

**Read! **

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**For the Love of Fugaku Ch. 2**

_**Cooking?**_

_Fugaku,_

_Come to my house…Tomorrow evening at 7:30 pm sharp. Do not bring Mikoto with you. My wife is very jealous of her skillz. Come alone. Do not worry, Sasuke will be coming as well. Bring the pudding in a 4x4 re-sealable bag. _

_ Your** Favorite Son,**_

_ Itachi_

Fugaku read the note again he had found attached to his screen door. Itachi? It sounded similar to a movie he had seen about a head ninja being black mailed, but it was his son, what was the worst that could happen?

"Mikoto, my love!" Fugaku leaped around the living room, as he later noticed that she was reading _Refurnishing Everything Weekly. _"Hey," he stared at her for a moment. "Are you listening?" Suddenly he realized it, she didn't love him anymore at his old age she had forsaken his love and was ignoring him! The truth was too much to bare, his hands pressed against the sides of his head, he lost his balance and went sprawling to the floor, cries of agony and deceit ran from his throat like tears in a bucket of despair. "WHY?!?!" He wept on the floor gingerly touching his eyes every few mini-seconds.

After a while, Mikoto noticed the strange noises coming from behind the couch. She raised an eyebrow or two and looked over the side. Fugaku sat in the feeble position shaking.

"Fugaku!" she cried. "What's wrong honey?" she looked down at him.

"Why don't you love me??!" Fugaku sniffled. Mikoto stared at him for a while longer.

"Fugaku, you've been near that paint I bought last week too much. Chill okay? I love you." She smiled sweetly, forgiving Fugaku for over-reacting. "You just need some R&R…" Fugaku cut her off.

"THAT'S exactly what I was going to tell you!" Fugaku leapt to his feet. "I need to go on a trip! My so…I mean my brother invited me to a "guy" festivity thing. You know, like a party thing that them youngins have?" Fugaku smiled sweetly, and there was practically no way Mikoto would've been able to see the lies that hid behind that smile.

It was later that day when Mikoto noticed Fugaku dishing pudding into a 4x4 re-sealable bag.

"Fugaku," she began,

"Shhhhhhh…" he said placing his finger up to his lips. He hunched over the counter as he continued to scoop pudding into the bag. She could hear him humming, a song, a sweet song, she remembered Sasuke humming the other day when he came over in the middle of the afternoon to eat **their **food for lunch, like he did **every **day. But not this day…for she had started locking the door during the afternoon while she and Fugaku were both at work.

"Okay, have fun dear!" Mikoto called to Fugaku has he left that evening for his "journey" he had been calling it. He left whistling and walked gallantly out the door and down the walk out of the Uchiha complex. As he turned the corner she could've sworn he had clicked his heels.

"That Fugaku," she murmured, "always so happy, except…when…he gets **that **way…"

Itachi had finally gotten the two children to be quiet when there came a knockin on the door. Itachi had always wondered why people knocked instead of just wringing the door bell, it was so much easier. He shook his head, from the fact that it was a "knockin" and not a "knocking" he knew it had to be Fugaku.

"Honey!" Itachi called, "Could you get that? It's Pa." The response he got was a moan, and then the sound of the shaking of an empty Advil jar. Suddenly it came almost like a slap; she had eaten all of the Advil! He dropped what he was doing and ran to the kitchen in an attempt to stop her from eating any of the pills in her hand. She wasn't gonna be the only one who gets the relief in the family.

"Stop!" he cried. He came to a halt, as she almost mockingly was going to eat the last of the pills. "Don't you dare…"

"Or what?" she laughed maliciously, and then feeling a sudden burst of deep inner sadness, tossed the remaining pills to Itachi.

**AN: No one should be taking the amount they are. **

Itachi gulped them down with a glass of Welch's 100 grape juice, for it seemed that the only type of fluids they had nowadays. How he was jealous of Sasuke's Ninja Cola. He would need those pain relief pills for tonight, but he and his wife were not totally insane, they still had a reasonable amount of sanity left. They had been preparing for this night. It had all started with the night they had come home from a dinner at his parents' house. His wife had started complaining about how Mikoto was always showing her up, with her cooking, and her neat house, and her remodeling, and her totally perfect image, and her calm attitude, it had been quite hard to sleep that night as he recalled. It seemed though that that "a knockin" wasn't going to end any time soon unless someone went and opened that door. He looked at his wife.

"Don't look at me," she said and returned to the meatloaf. Okay…he was going to have to get the door. He quickly ran into the living room, jumped over the couch, grabbed the doorknob and jerked the door open. Fugaku knuckles were still knockin and unfortunately he wasn't knockin on the door anymore, instead it turned out he was a knockin on Itachi's face.

"…" Fugaku was speechless. "…"

"That hurts,"

They both looked away.

"Come in," Itachi offered Fugaku. Fugaku walked in astonished by how the two had fixed up the place. The two children Tiff and Tam were sitting mischievously in the corner, next to a dangerous set of permanent markers. Fugaku decided he would keep his distance tonight, they yet may still hold a grunge against him for not allowing them to have any pudding. However it seemed very much like fate was against him.

"Do you have the stuff?" Itachi said. Fugaku handed him the bag inside of a brown paper bag. Itachi leaned forward and whispered.

"You didn't have to put it inside of this brown paper bag, as police chief of Konoha this could be incriminating and we don't any trouble in the family remember, Pops?" Itachi none the less took the sack and headed towards the kitchen. Fugaku was left standing in the doorway empty-handed. Suddenly there was a "knocking" at the door, Fugaku turned around and opened the door.

"Sasuke!" he cried. "…!" Sasuke stared at Fugaku blankly.

"Why am I here?" he said, looking off towards the town's meeting place.

"That's a silly question!" Fugaku said grabbing his son and bringing him inside. Sasuke never got an answer and it seemed no one had ever intended on giving him one. He noticed the two mischievous children sitting in the corner with the set of permanent markers. He decided that he would stay away from them. Sasuke followed Fugaku who thus sat down on the sofa. He decided there was no harm in sitting down until dinner was ready, or whatever was going on. As he sat down though he noticed an alarmingly painful feeling coming from his thigh...

"GAHHH!!!" Sasuke cried. He stood up and saw the sharp action figures raised arm stuck in his leg. Sasuke stood up, his eyes watering. "Pa," he whined in pain, "Get it out," he said pointing to the plastic figure stuck in his thigh. Fugaku examined the figure and then plucked it out of Sasuke's leg.

"Sasuke be a man and stop sniffling!" Fugaku said whacking his son over the head as Sasuke sat back down.

"But it hurt like you wouldn't believe, maybe ninjas should start carrying those things around instead of kunai," Sasuke looked sorrowful, so Fugaku patted him on the back with sympathy.

"It's okay, you know what, you can have an extra serving of pudding!" Fugaku gave Sasuke a warm smile and darted the Tiff and Tam an evil glare full of malice and anger. He hoped they would receive the message that he was not happy about them leaving their dangerous action figures around on the couch cushions. The children picked the permanent markers and chucked them at Sasuke.

"…" Sasuke caught all 13 of the markers as they made their aerial decent. Malice was heavy in the air today it seemed, and these children were the weight.

"Feel my unconditional wrath, brats." Sasuke reached under the seat cushion and pulled out an action figure with a pointy hand mind you. He chucked the action figure at the children and they started screaming.

Fugaku was about to scold both the children and Sasuke when a sharp edged book smacked Fugaku right in the forehead. The children smiled evilly and that was when Fugaku lost it.

"I'll kill y'all!!!" Fugaku got up and rolled back the sleeves of his shirt menacingly. "I'm not the police chief of Konoha for nothing!" He cracked his knuckles then realized that this could be perpetrated as child abusement. Fugaku turned away, and instead thumped Sasuke over the head. A long whine came from Sasuke as his hands covered his head in pain and sank into the couch.

Itachi's wife Aiko called for dinner time, and so the four of them got up and headed for the kitchen; Sasuke's head hanging low. On the table was some BBQ that looked dangerously spicy along, some cheesy potatoes, along with some toast and some onigiri. As the dinner began the children, of course, were the first to cause the ruckus.

"We want CHEEZ-ITS!!!" they screamed and cried, there clenched fists pounding on the table. Itachi stared at them deeply and utterly confused.

"Well…" Itachi felt awkward. Sasuke stared at Itachi as if he was going to do something. Then he stared down at his plate and grabbed and dropped some BBQ onto it.

"You should either get them these "cheez-its" or tell them to be quiet aniki." Sasuke dished some of the cheesy potatoes onto his plate. Sasuke began to eat and to the other people at the table who weren't screaming about "cheez-its" it looked as though he was eating rather ravenously.

"Sasuke…" began Fugaku. "Have you been buying groceries weekly like your mother told you to start doing?"

"Ugh," he looked away, embarrassed that they noticed how he was eating with great vigor. "I uh…" Sasuke paused. "Ever since Ma locked the doors during the afternoon it seems I haven't been getting too much lunch…" Sasuke grabbed one of the onigiri and gnawed on it trying to look sweet and innocent. However, Fugaku was the judge in this case and his verdict was guilty.

"Sasuke, if being a ninja isn't paying enough…" Fugaku stopped as he noticed that Sasuke was giving him that look again.

"It pays fine." Sasuke said.

"You know, because if you ever…"

"I said fine."

"We'll always have a spot for you…"

"I said…"

"At the Konoha Police Station."

Sasuke slammed down his fist on the table causing the children's insensible screaming to stop.

"I said that I'm perfectly happy as a ninja," he eyed the children. "because I and you should never have to turn out like Itachi…" Sasuke winced in pain as Itachi kicked him in the shin under the table. Itachi smiled pleasantly.

"Well that's enough arguing for tonight, eh?" but Itachi had spoken far too soon on a far too rare occasion. The children pushed the food on their plates around with their chopsticks, Sasuke continuously ate the food, Fugaku observed the children's lack of manners, and Itachi and Aiko were becoming more and more distraught that only Sasuke was enjoying the meal Aiko had cooked.

"Little brother, maybe you should save some of the food for Pa…"

"I'm not hungry." Fugaku said, his eyes remained fixed on the two children.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm…more for me!" Sasuke dished more potatoes onto his plate, and licked his fingers as he adjusted his chopsticks.

Fugaku felt a sudden yearning to kick Itachi in the shin for not teaching his hooligans about manners like he had told him to last time. He frowned.

"Itachi…" Fugaku began. The clock struck 8 o' clock, and Sasuke whirled around to look at the clock behind him.

"Oh my!" Sasuke gasped. "I'm late! I'm late! I'm late for a **_very_ **important date!" Sasuke quickly gulped down the rest of the food on his plate and the 100 Welch's grape juice left in his cup. He grabbed his coat and his hat and turned around to the hosts.

"Thanks for the meal!" he said, and with that he turned and ran out the door. Fugaku sat there, confused to say the least. Sasuke had been sitting across from him a second ago, and now… well now he was gone, but at least he was finally seeing a woman. So quickly, and his plate was completely bare as well as his glass empty. Fugaku was about to say something about Itachi's children's manner when he remember what Mikoto had told him.

"_Now be back by 8 o 'clock Fugaku-kun, the sequel to your favorite soap opera premiers tonight."_

Fugaku stood up.

"It's about time for me to go as well," he said. "Thanks for the dinner," and gave Itachi and Aiko a warm smile, he gave the children a dark smile full of malicious intent and headed for home.

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